To Have Without Holding
Learning to love differently is hard,
love with the hands wide open, love
with the doors banging on their hinges,
the cupboard unlocked, the wind
roaring and whimpering in the rooms
rustling the sheets and snapping the blinds
that thwack like rubber bands
in an open palm.
It hurts to love wide open
stretching the muscles that feel
as if they are made of wet plaster,
then of blunt knives, then
of sharp knives.
It hurts to thwart the reflexes
of grab, of clutch, to love and let
go again and again. It pesters to remember
the lover who is not in the bed,
to hold back what is owed to the work
that gutters like a candle in a cave
without air, to love consciously,
conscientiously, concretely, constructively.
I can’t do it, you say it’s killing
me, but you thrive, you glow
on the street like a neon raspberry,
You float and sail, a helium balloon
bright bachelor’s buttons blue and bobbing
on the cold and hot winds of our breath,
as we make and unmake in passionate
diastole and systole the rhythm
of our unbound bonding, to have
and not to hold, to love
with minimized malice, hunger
and anger moment by moment balanced.
photo: chris dessaigne
— Henry M. Sayre, A World of Art: Fifth Edition (via sciaenops)
This is in honor of my 300th follower…I give you all of the -illions from the Cosmos series. Enjoy peeps!
- Between infancy and first grade, boys express their emotions more readily than girls. [here]
- Worldwide, boys aren’t any better at math than girls. [here]
- Young men are more emotionally vulnerable to troubles in their relationships than young women are. [here]
- Men are less rational investors than women. [here]
- Men aren’t worse than women at reading emotional cues. [here]
- Men monitor their partners more than women. [here]
- Men are twice as likely as women to commit suicide after divorce. [here]
- In anonymous settings, women are more aggressive than men. [no shit]
Reblogging this because I think it’s super important when it comes to sex and relationships and how as a society we view these things to realize that everything we’ve been taught about “men” and “women” is wrong. Not just the exclusion of trans* identities or the discussion of binarism in regards to intersex and genital differences but also the way we view gender roles and even cis gender identities and biology and behavior. This affects the way people interact in relationships and during sexual conduct and also how we act in our day-to-day lives.
— Erwin McManus (via onlinecounsellingcollege)
when I don’t let the haters keep me down
— Ann Brashares (via onlinecounsellingcollege)
America take rest
I was born No poet
Born laces to television archaic computer lemming games
Walmart target home depot banks
Big man take rest
I was born No lover
Born sage-less wise cracker
Abandoned lot mower for petrified native broken horn blowers
Savage take rest
I was born No tin man tight vested slave author
Born on No Puritanical pilgrimage not Lord wrought No Kings vestige
Youth take rest
I was born a silver-tongued tight fisted counter daughter
Fire starting ageist hippy
Empty gun waving barbiturate sipping
I take rest
I was born No fool
Sade Johnson, “Less Fear”
via Humans of New York
i am having a hard time figuring out how i will get through these next five days.
so far my only breakup tips are:
-put on podcasts to drown out your internal monologue when you finally exhaust yourself into needing to sleep
-walk. walk. walk and walk and walk.
-seriously don’t contact them everyone told you not to. seriously.